16 Nov

Posted at 18:40h in Mental health
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I love Christmas. I love the food and being together. I love decorating the house and buying gifts. I love the opportunity to celebrate. But. There is a but. All the expectations around what Christmas could or should be can make me anxious. Until a few years ago as December approached I would find myself starting to worry. Would everyone have a good time? Had I remembered everyone's presents? Did the house look festive enough? Pressure and stress built up as the list of non-negotiable (as I saw it at the time) events filled my diary. I would panic about the most bizarre things: would...

22 Nov

Posted at 14:20h in Mental health
1 Like

I love Christmas. I love the food and being together. I love decorating the house and buying (and receiving!) gifts. I love the opportunity to celebrate. But. There is a but. All the expectations around what Christmas could or should be can make me anxious. Until a few years ago as December approached I would find myself starting to worry. Would everyone have a good time? Had I remembered everyone's presents? Did the house look festive enough? Pressure and stress built up as the list of non-negotiable (as I saw it at the time) events filled my diary. I would panic about the most bizarre...

15 Dec

Posted at 14:21h in Faith
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The simplest truths are the hardest to hold onto. It was the school nativity this morning. My children are too old to take part and I wasn't sure if I could spare the time. But the excitement in the yard was infectious and I found myself walking round to the front of the building, entering through the main doors and taking my place with all the other parents in the hall. The collection of angels wearing over-sized t-shirts adorned with tinsel sung of the glory of God. Some waved as they spotted their Mum or Dad in the packed assembly hall. My friend and...

28 Nov

Posted at 16:53h in Family, Mental health
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I love Christmas. I love a reason to celebrate, to eat good food and make a fuss. I love the full sensory experience, the smells and the decorations, lighting the candles and listening to the music. I am no scrooge. However, over the years Christmas has become a  bit much. I have made it a bit much. I am an all or nothing kind of person. I am not very good at self-control and moderation, and Christmas has always been a time to revel in this side of my personality. I want to do ALL of it. I want to have special meals with all my different groups of...

29 Nov

Posted at 19:30h in Faith, Mental health
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On the way home from church today we found trees blown down across the road. Huge branches blocking our path, dangerous obstacles getting in our way, preventing us from continuing our journey. One kid is ill and the wind howls outside. And all the leaves that had hung on until now, swirl in the air. It is the first Sunday of Advent and the hope that is to come feels like a fairy tale. My stomach churns and I feel empty. The words I speak evaporate into the air, swallowed by uncertainty that lies just one breath away. Today, I need truth. I need someone...