22 Nov

Posted at 14:24h in Faith, Mental health
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With regard to my faith I have spent a lot time writing about what isn't. Exploding lies. Debunking myths. That sort of thing. I write about this because it is what I have spent a lot of my time doing in my real life. Unravelling thoughts about my beliefs, chucking out systems that have become constraining. I struggled under the weight of some repressive ideas for a long time. No one forced these mindsets on me. In the way that most things happen it was a mix of my personality, my experiences, my choice, my upbringing, and my pride that combined to intoxicate me with the notion...

25 Oct

Posted at 16:20h in Family
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I have thought a lot recently about how to enable my kids to move from the 'infant' part of their childhood into their teenage years. How to begin to prepare them for greater independence. How to teach them to think and act for themselves and make good choices that reflect their values. I have thought a lot about where those values could come from and how it might be possible to instil values that will serve them well, that will give them a happy and peace-filled life. I think this may be impossible. I cannot guarantee they will immediately pick up healthy values, I...

10 Oct

Posted at 10:06h in Mental health
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This is for you if you are in despair. I know how you feel. I have been you; terrified to leave the house, feeling I had no control over my own body. I have felt my brain was alien and unpredictable and I could no longer rely on it to tell me the truth. I know what it is like to wake in the night and be consumed with fear, able to hear my blood pumping around my body, the sound loud in my ears. I have wanted to hide, and felt shame. I have not known who I was or how to go on....

22 Aug

Posted at 20:36h in Mental health
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I opened my computer the other day to check something and somehow found myself on Facebook (how does that happen?). I followed a link someone had posted to the page of a blogger I have long admired but rarely read (not sure why): Glennon Doyle Melton (of Momastery). I scrolled down, glancing at the small amount of text she had prefixed her latest blog posts with, until one stopped me in my tracks. This is what I read; 'Yes, I’ve got these conditions—anxiety, depression, addiction—and they almost killed me. But they are also my superpowers. I’m the canary in the mine and you need...

29 Nov

Posted at 19:30h in Faith, Mental health
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On the way home from church today we found trees blown down across the road. Huge branches blocking our path, dangerous obstacles getting in our way, preventing us from continuing our journey. One kid is ill and the wind howls outside. And all the leaves that had hung on until now, swirl in the air. It is the first Sunday of Advent and the hope that is to come feels like a fairy tale. My stomach churns and I feel empty. The words I speak evaporate into the air, swallowed by uncertainty that lies just one breath away. Today, I need truth. I need someone...