14 Jun

Posted at 18:59h in Living well
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Everyone is creative. Fact. You might not think you are, but I can assure you, you are. Maybe you have believed that creativity was only for a chosen few, and you didn't fit that mould. You weren't spontaneous, or off-the-wall enough. You were too cautious or methodical. But however you are, and whoever you are, I know you are creative. You have no choice in the matter. Maybe your creativity is laying dormant at the moment. Maybe after years of denial it has become hard to find. Having heard the words repeated over and over, probably from your own mouth, that you 'aren't really arty' or that you're a 'left-brain'...

18 May

Posted at 19:13h in Living well, Mental health
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The second conversation I have recorded this week for Mental Health Awareness Week is with my husband. Matt and I met when I was 16. We started dating when I was 18 and got married when I was 20. This July we will have been married for 16 years. Being married is challenging. Being connected to another person in this deep, meaningful and mysterious way can be the most brilliant, supportive thing in the world. But when your partner is ill and you are the one who has to care for them, it can be tricky. We say 'in sickness and health'...

17 May

Posted at 19:16h in Living well, Mental health
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This week is Mental Health Awareness week, and the theme this year is relationships. So, I've been thinking about the people around me, those who have supported me and been there for me over the past few turbulent years. I have decided rather than writing for them and about them, I would let them speak for themselves. I have taken my trusty iPhone and recorded conversations with a select few. Firstly, my friend Sri. Sri and I met at sixth form. We were studying the same subjects. Our friendship was cemented through numerous conversations over tea and toast and many nights out. We...

08 Apr

Posted at 20:56h in Beauty, Living well, Mental health
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Today was one of those days. You know, nothing major, just nothing great either. It is the end of the Easter holidays and we have had fun and been busy, but today (and yesterday if I'm honest) I have felt tired, and bored. I have one child who is coming down with a fever, one who is a little over tired and one who hasn't stopped talking to (at) me for the last 36 hours, mainly about lego dimensions, of which I have no interest. My husband is well, but busy with work and distracted. And our house has been upside-down as we...

02 Apr

Posted at 17:23h in Living well, Mental health
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March has been a good month. A month where I have been able to get back out into the garden, and no one has had any sick days off school. As I walked along the beach in Anglesey this week I thought about what I have learnt this month. Criticism is hard. Public criticism is even harder. This month I set up a Facebook page for my blog and as a consequence I seem to be getting new readers, which is great. More people I don't know in real life are reading (hi!). This has been exciting and slightly nerve-wracking....

14 Mar

Posted at 19:56h in Living well, Mental health
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It is the shit in the soil that creates the best conditions for growth. "We asked, 'why is it that we learn from things that hurt us? Why do we need pain before we can grow?' There aren't any easy answers to this one, but all artists know the truth of it, and not only artists: it was Jung who said that there is no coming to life without pain."* When the shit hits the fan. When  we find ourselves 'up to ours ears' in it, or 'up that particular creek without a paddle'. When pain and destruction, and deliberate attack, or unpredicted misfortune fall on...

24 Feb

Posted at 19:13h in Living well, Mental health
1 Like

A while back, I heard Elizabeth Gilbert and Brene Brown in conversation (online obviously, from the warmth of my kitchen, through my laptop). Elizabeth Gilbert said something that really jumped out at me. She talked about the narcissism of depression. I rarely think of depression as narcissistic. Elizabeth Gilbert went on to say depression is narcissistic because sufferers think they are special. (Stay with me) They think they are so special that they do not need compassion. So special that they do not need to offer themselves self-care. So special that they do not need looking after. One of the reasons I got into the...

25 Jan

Posted at 19:00h in Living well, Mental health
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I've decided that I am going to lower the bar. I'm lowering my expectations. Sounds bad doesn't it? Sounds like the words of someone who is depressed. Like the words of someone with low self-esteem and low self-regard. Like the words of someone who cannot believe for the best, who doesn't hope for the future. I'm not planing for the impossible. And I'm not shooting for the stars. I know, now you're really worried aren't you? But I'm lowering the bar. I'm doing it. Instead of expecting I can get through the exhausting to-do list, I'm taking things off it before I begin. I'm making the tasks easier. I'm...

04 Nov

Posted at 18:39h in Living well, Mental health
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I am not good at quiet. And I have had a tough time making friends with silence. I am an extrovert. Okay, an extrovert who has suffered with depression, but an extrovert nonetheless. I like to be with people. I like to throw parties. I want to go to the pub and the theatre and round to your house for tea. I like to feel part of a community and be connected to the people who matter most to me, all the time. And, although this is the way I am wired, a part of who I am, if I am not...