08 Nov

Posted at 15:23h in Mental health
0 Likes

I was out and about somewhere this week, I forget where, and I could hear a toddler whining. The child wasn't very upset, but were obviously struggling to get their point across, to let the parent who was with them know exactly what they wanted. I then heard the Mum who was with this little boy, who must have been about two and a half, say a phrase I have said myself many times. She said, "Use your words." She wanted her son to stop his whining and tell her what it was that was upsetting him, or what it was he wanted....

01 Nov

Posted at 14:12h in Mental health
0 Likes

In the morning when you wake the dread is already on your shoulder. You feel the panic rising and swallow hard to stop it. It all feels too much.  You pull up your big girl pants and give yourself the pep-talk you have well-rehearsed about just getting on, just doing it, not quitting, not stopping. Throughout the day you struggle to make decisions. You find yourself rushing from one thing to another, worrying about what won't get done. Your breath catches in your chest. You feel you are always dropping the ball. The other shoe is about to fall. You are...

17 Oct

Posted at 17:27h in Family, Mental health
1 Like

I find change hard. I like familiarity and routine. I like tradition and rituals. These are the things that help me to orient myself in the world. To make sense of life's unpredictable moments. But if we know one thing we know change is the only constant. The only thing we can be sure will follow us. Sometimes life changes and we have no choice but to accept it even though it is devastating; we experience tragedy and have to learn to live with it. We lose a loved one, a friend moves away, we are ill, our job role changes, we experience...

10 Oct

Posted at 12:33h in Mental health
0 Likes

For World Mental Health Day some truth from my head and my heart. This much I know: Mental illness does not and should not disqualify you. Do not disqualify yourself because of it. What you perceive as weakness might be the truth someone else needs to hear, or give you the perception to understand how someone else is feeling. You are not disqualified. For more: read this. You are allowed to do what you need or want to do. This is true always but especially when it comes to managing and protecting you mental health. You need to cancel an appointment,...

04 Oct

Posted at 12:51h in Mental health
0 Likes

You have permission to make a change I am giving it to you. Not that you need me to. You were already allowed. If something is not how you want it to be, if you are not getting what you need, if something else would make you happier, you are allowed to change it. You are allowed to try something else. You are allowed to quit, or have a go, or say no this time even though you have always said yes. You have permission to make a change. Life is big and busy and full and it can feel easier to stick with the status...

20 Sep

Posted at 16:29h in Family, Mental health
0 Likes

Recently I asked my email list* what they were struggling with. I don't have all the answers but I want to know my readers better and write about the things that are on their hearts. I was overwhelmed by the response and felt so privileged that so many took the time to share their stories with me. There were a few themes that emerged, common threads between the responses. So often we think the things that make us feel ashamed or scared separate us from everyone else, when actually it is these struggles that unite us. If only we knew how like each other...

15 Aug

Posted at 15:08h in Mental health
0 Likes

I experienced my first panic attack in my car while attempting a three point turn in the road outside my parents' house. I was 22. One minute I was turning the steering wheel, focused on the manoeuvre, the next I was sweating with fear. My mind raced through a theatre performance I had recently seen, the most devastating moment playing over and over again on the screen of my mind. My body reacted as though this performance was not just real, but was a part of me. I was the dying man collapsing on the ground, I was the one losing...

26 Jun

Posted at 14:38h in Mental health
0 Likes

Maintaining good mental health can be hard work. I didn't manage it, and when my third child was a few months old I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I had probably been anxious for 5 years by then, since my first baby was born in 2004. In those days mental health was not something that was discussed often. I hadn't realised what was going on and had assumed I was weak and needed to pull myself together, everyone else seemed to be able to cope - so why couldn't I? But it turns out I wasn't weak, I was ill. There is a difference....

30 May

Posted at 13:53h in Mental health
0 Likes

Self care is not just for stressed-out grown ups. Self care is an important life skill we can and should be teaching to our children. And just in case you think I am going to be instructing you to spoil your child, to give them whatever they most desire all in the name of mental health, let me reassure you. My favourite definition of self-care (which makes it obvious it is a skill we all need is) - self care: proactively creating a life you don't need to regularly escape from*. Self-Care is about making sure we are able to enjoy our...

21 May

Posted at 11:39h in Mental health
1 Like

Last week for Mental Health Awareness Week, on Facebook and Instagram, I posted daily about my battle with anxiety and panic attacks. I have summarised these posts here. I hope they might bring comfort to you if you are struggling, and serve as a reminder that you are not alone. Part 1. RECOGNITION Growing up I never really thought about my brain. It was just there, ticking over, doing what I needed it to. As a straight-A student, education was not a problem and apart from a few (obligatory) crappy teenage years I was outgoing and popular. I was brought up to know I was loved...